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Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

By: Jennifer Hefner


“There is one thing that you’re better at than other people:

Being YOU.”

~Author Unknown~

Yes, we all do it. We look at that friend or coworker that just looks like they have it all. You know the story- dream job, perfect spouse, perfect kids, beautiful home, perfect body. Movie-like, right? The reality is, we are seeing what we want to see. We are so focused on looking at others’ “perfection” and this can become detrimental to our own progress in our life journey. To add to this, the social media craze has created a fabrication of life for the most part. It is a “highlight reel,” the beautiful moments of most people’s lives. And coming from a person who watches “highlight reels” of sports recruits more than the Netflix binger binges, I can tell you one thing- those highlight reels are just that- a small highlight of a great moment in time, but not a true representation of daily living. What I am getting at- STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!

Comparing ourselves to others can go one of two ways- we can be impacted positively or negatively. Unfortunately, we can get into a spiral and be impacted negatively and this can really impact our health journey. Yes, we have previously talked about seeing someone that has it “together” and we said to go learn how they have succeeded in their journey. But there is a difference between learning and comparing. So, let’s take a look at WHY we need to stop comparing ourselves to others.

As I did some research on the effects of comparing ourselves to others, I found some interesting points from the website “The Law of Attraction”. When we compare ourselves to others, we start to see their strengths, but focus on our weaknesses. We see their achievements, but our lack of achievements. This can lead to jealousy, resenting the other person. Then, you guessed it, all of a sudden our self-esteem and confidence has sunk to the bottom. The crazy thing is, it happens so fast we don’t even recognize it. Now let’s talk about how we can change this mindset and stop comparing ourselves to others.

I am currently reading “The Year of Living Happy” by Alli Worthington. Each day you have a short read with a small activity. Today went right along with our topic here. The title of today’s topic was “Appreciating How Uniquely We Are Created.” The small activity today- list as many unique qualities about yourself as you can. We are each made uniquely by our creator. We are not made to be like any other person, so why do we compare ourselves to others and put weight into that comparison? So, I challenge you to do the same activity- make a list of all your unique and great qualities. This is your list, no one has to see it. So list away! You have more great qualities about yourself than you even know! Focus on YOUR strengths, don’t compare them to any other person.

Second, make a list of what you would like to achieve. This could be anything from mastering a new dinner dish to completing a 1-mile run. Maybe you want to get 8 hours of sleep each night . Maybe you want to go back to school to get a certain certification or degree, or maybe you want to learn how to sew or paint furniture. There is nothing off limits here.

As we work hard to not compare ourselves to others, let’s look at how a small change in our mindset can give us a little more confidence and see how unique we are. Focus on what you already have and APPRECIATE it! Appreciate the family or friends you have. Go to bed with a positive mindset- insert positive affirmation right here! When you talk positively before you go to be, studies show you will wake up with a positive mood. Maybe this will take a few tries, but hey, worth trying. POSTURE! Must I bring out the mom voice and tell you to stand up straight!?! Yes, your mother was correct- stand up a little straighter today. You will be amazed at how confident this will make you feel. Funny observation, but I have noticed a few friends of mine that when I stand or sit up real straight, I have actually seen them straighten up too! It may be because they are shorter than me but it does happen!

Smile! Converse! Give a compliment to someone! You have so many great qualities that, once you recognize them, your view about yourself will improve. And when you smile at someone or give a compliment, the impact you make on that person is also positive. Double Win!

As you go about your day, remember- stop comparing yourself to others! We don’t need more of the same person- we need YOU! We need more of each individual to blossom! Compare yourself to only one person- YOU! You will see quickly how unique and wonderful you are!

~Jennifer Hefner, HH Mindset Coach

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