By: Jennifer Hefner
“IF YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL, BE PREPARED TO BE DOUBTED AND TESTED”
A few years ago, I joined a runner’s bootcamp class to test myself, to really see if I could take the challenge and become a better runner. You see, I love challenges. The competitive athlete in me will take any challenge that comes my way. Maybe that is why I am a great procrastinator; I am competing against time, and I thrive on it. But back to the bootcamp class, it was a 6-week commitment of 3 days a week. But more than that, the coach encouraged you to continue training on the days in between. We were also tested at the beginning of the session on a 2-mile run, military style pushups and crunches. Then at the end of the 6 weeks we were tested to see how much we improved. Throughout the class we had 2 days a week of long runs and one day of interval run training and HIIT workouts. It was intense but awesome!
That bootcamp class has been one of my favorite accomplishments ever, not only did I complete the 6-week session, but I also continued for 2 more sessions for a total of 18 straight weeks. And the last 12 weeks were 5am sessions! This meant I woke up at 4am to fuel and hydrate, and by no means do I like mornings! But again, it was thrilling, and I really improved my running form, breathing, endurance and time. When I started, I was nervous, anxious, scared- you name it I felt it! But I didn’t doubt myself!
Getting to the basis of this blog, during this time I had a member of my husband’s family ask me what I was up to during that summer. When I mentioned the 5am bootcamp class I was taking, I was taken aback by the response I heard. “That’s stupid, why would you do THAT? Why would you get up at 4am and take a class like that?” Wow! I honestly didn’t know how to respond. As I was watching my nutrition, I heard comments that it was “dumb” that I wouldn’t eat certain foods. This was an eye opener for me because I had never heard someone ridicule anything I had ever attempted to do in life. Ever! This moment really is a defining moment in my adult life to this day. And by this, what I mean is I am hyperaware of DOUBTERS, or people who have that “doubting” personality. I am currently trying to figure out if this said family member is trying to create doubt for individuals because they don’t want to see us achieve or succeed, or if they have a jealous side because they feel less than, or if they fear failure.
As I was doing some research for this topic of “Doubters” or “Non-Supporters”, I was intrigued by author Sarah Cordiner’s descriptions of six different types of Non-Supporters in her book Awaken Your Course Creation Mojo. She talks about the doubters in the business world, but I can completely see the characteristics of doubters in all areas of life. These individuals might not be able to “visualize the outcome” therefore they don’t understand what you see. Another characteristic is these individuals really love you, but they don’t want to see you fail because it would devastate them, so they can’t support you. Another type Sarah Cordiner describes is the individual who is afraid that if you succeed then their world will change. She also describes the doubter that is envious, and lastly those who are just plain buttholes!
If it isn’t enough that we doubt ourselves at times, working towards a goal can get difficult when we deal with “Doubters” around us. Finding support is definitely key to any fitness or health journey. Surrounding yourself with people who build you up helps motivate you, helps keep you going especially when you hit some bumps along the way.
So, what can we do to combat the doubt that can creep in or the doubters that we encounter? Let’s look at a few ideas we can use:
· Understand that the “doubters” you encounter might not have the same goals as you. Rationalizing that these individuals might have “fear of failure” themselves, or not understand your why, or they might be afraid their lives will change if you succeed can help you move past the doubters.
· Always go back to your WHY! This is YOUR journey!
· REVERSE GAP THINKING! According to the site https://stunningmotivation.com, this way of thinking is where you think about how far you have come instead of how far you are away from your goal.
· Remember that you will never get the result you are looking for if you continue doing the same thing. If you want a different result, you must be willing to change. And this might mean changing your “support group”.
· When your own doubt starts creeping in, KEEP GOING! Do the hard, focus on the small habits and tasks, and KEEP GOING!
· SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE SIMILAR GOALS!
Recognizing the doubt or the doubters is, in my opinion, a positive. The more awareness you have the better you will be at learning to overcome roadblocks. If you never fall down, you will never learn how to get back up. If you never have a setback, you never learn how to move forward. And if you can’t recognize the doubter or the things that are holding you back, you will never learn what or who to surround yourself with. Approaching the doubt and doubters in a positive, proactive manner will provide us with more ammunition and motivation to keep trucking along to meet our goals. Prove DOUBT wrong friend! You are on a path of self-discovery that is for YOU!
~Jennifer Hefner, Change Your State Mind Coach